My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
