just come out here and I will go home with you...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My balls are so social today.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
