Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
