The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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