Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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