oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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