I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
