so that wasnt chicken after all
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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