I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
