If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
