Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
