please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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