omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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