I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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