Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
