So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
