And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
