Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize