Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
