This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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