talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You took a bar mat shot.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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