it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
