Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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