:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
