just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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