Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
