Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
