did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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