you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
