We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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