You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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