Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize