I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
