Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You are a genius and a whore.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
