He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
