spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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