My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The best revenge is premature balding
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
