i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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