I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize