oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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