Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
