God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
