hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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