im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
