I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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