I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
