but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
