you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
