im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
