Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I still have a little drunk in my system
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
