Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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