remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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