We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
