If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
