an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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