from now on my penis is your penis
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
