I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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