i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
