did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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