Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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