brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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