Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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