dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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